What the f...............??!!

Last week John and I didn't go to the cinema (or any where else for that matter) I was having a bit of a crisis of a day and really didn't feel like going anywhere other than home to bed.

This week however Orange Wednesday's was back on and we headed to see "Little Children" at the Picture House. Now I had read one or two bits about the film, bits that includes things like "Extraordinary, sharply intelligent and affecting." and "Best film I've seen all year." As for what it was all about I was aware that there was Kate Winslet as Sarah, a stay-at-home Mum who gets it on with Patrick Wilson's character Brad, a stay-at-home Dad. Beyond that I hadn't heard anything else so naively thought it would be based around Sarah & Brad's budding affair, hiding it from the family and friends, how they all interacted, the repercussions if people find out; you know, normal mind numbing American crap! What we got was not quite that though.....

For starters there is a REALLY annoying voice over in the style of Babe (you know, the kids film about a pig?!) This went on throughout the film and was totally pointless from my point of view.

Then there was the random peadophile storyline - Ronnie has moved back with his mother after serving time for indecent exposure against a child and people are not happy. One bloke in particular runs a hate campaign against him and his mother. Now you could argue that this adds another dimention to the story but my point is Why?! It makes the film way longer than necessary and doesn't seem to have any great effect on the two lead characters and their story. In all honestly it could've been a whole different film. And an unnecessary, but predictable, penis chopping off at the end of the film just seemed like to much to me (and this is coming from someone who has had close experience of the effect peadophiles on people)

On another point there was WAY too much unnecessary wanking taking place! Do we really need this in a film where it is totally unnecessary? First there is Sarah's husband banging one out in his office whilst flicking through porno photos on the net. Then there is Sarah's husband (yes, again!) very disturbingly sitting with USED panties on his face and looking at the same pictures. Then there was Ronnie the Peadophile commiting another act of sexual devience sat in the passenger seat of his blind dates car while they are parked outside a kids playpark. This particular scene really bugged me - in an earlier scene Ronnie's date had admitted to being abused as a child and assulted later in life on a bus or train or similar. I don't think it added anything to the film other than to highlight that Ronnie wasn't 'cured' but the audience already knew that from seeing him turn up at a busy swimming pool. I personally just felt it was a definate step too far.

On the only high point is that I could imagine that had the film stuck to following Sarah and Brad, focusing on their relationship and all it entailed we could have ended up with a watchable, all be it predictable, film. The chemistry between Winslet and Wilson was wonderful (as was Wilsons body ;-) !) There were elements of the story that could've been built on with out veering into the extreme side lines.

In summing up the phrase that sprung to mind as we left the screening was "What the fuck?" and I think that says it all, don't you?

It's a bit odd, too long, with an annoying voiceover! It sort of makes you think, so, one star. I'll say no more. John.